Just don’t hate or kill people unless they hate or kill people

If you want me to tag something please tell me


this is a thing





if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence


whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”


"Don’t celebrate Halloween, Christians!! It is based in a pagan holiday!"

Boy have I got some news for you concerning Christmas.


LOOKS LIKE MEAT’S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS" bellows the Orc to his Orc friends. Orcs know what menus are. Orcs know what restaurants are. are there bistros in Mordor? these are the questions i need answering




when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”

When it occured to us that “said” implies a direct quote, while “was like” clarifies that you mean to communicate the person’s tone and general point without quoting them word for word.


(Source: pitiful)




  1. alucifer said: ok i know you have explained this before but please explain watermelon vampire to me

Okay, so up in the Balkans there’s this belief that anything left out under the full moon can become a vampire. Anything. All the things. 

However, in the Balkans and I believe among certain Romani superstitions Pumpkins and Watermelons are particularly susceptable to vampirism. There are two ways to do it, one is by leaving them ungathered on the vine out under the full moon, and one is by having one and not eating it by midnight on Christmas. There’s also allegedly a third way that requires the watermelon or pumpkin to not rot for 2-3 years but the first two are the more accepted versions I believe.

You can recognize a vampiric plant by the way they ‘sweat blood’. As I understand it the insides of the plant convert to blood, and they become sentient, and roll around trying to cause mischief while making the noise brlbrlbrl, because they’re inherently evil and driven to do evil.

However they’re also fucking plants and are easily foiled by stairs so literally no one is scared of them they’re just ineffectual hostile plants AND I LOVE THEM.

This is beautiful. Pratchett menioned them in one of his books, and I’ve always wondered.

Watermelon vampires came up during my pathfinder game, and I couldn’t believe it that something so wonderful could exist.